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But why a blog?

I have only even read a couple and writing daily even for someone writing a book seems like a bit much doesn't it?

Ohhhhh, it's for me? That changes my perspective a smidge. Someone once told me blogging is much like journaling and the only opinion that should be considered is the writers because this is their version, their view. 

When I think of everything that is going to happen over the next 200 days and then some, I feel such an extreme urge to document. I feel the need to share my experiences so that I get it out. For the last 28 years, I have lived for others. After realizing this and how absolutely toxic it was to walk around as a ball of anxiety living only for others, I started my reflection and healing journey.  

Now I comprehend that I can share with the masses and not let the masses control where I am headed. Though a leader, at my core, I was a people pleaser. I was so busy becoming something someone else had wanted for me. I chased goals so others could do and be more.  I performed for others so they could take what they needed. I sought others’ happiness before my own, just to see a smile. When you take all that away and it is just you left looking back; is your core existing for something you self-propel for or does it exist to be told what to do? Some enjoy being told what to do, where to be, what goal to go after but for others, that just simply is not ok. 

I’m one of the others. 

The next 2-5 years I am just going to see what happens as I live my life based on my own curiosity, my own intuition, my own goals and begin my true journey for more. This will be my safe place I can document. Ultimately, knowing this is public to just my peeps is enough to keep me accountable day in and day out. <3 

Y O U may not be what controls me anymore, but you are now what keeps me accountable, because we deserve more. 

Editor: Hannah Holstead

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